So, now that you’ve made it through the introduction post.. Here’s my game plan. It’s still scattered. It’s still in the making. I think the plan will keep adapting as I go along. It’s a journey. But I have to start somewhere.
# 1 – Surround Myself With Positive Reminders
In the article Why Complaining is Literally Killing You I learned that we can literally reprogram our brains to think differently. But after wiring my brain to think negatively and fearfully I’m having to actively choose to think positively and fear less about what others think.
I told my mom I should just get Fear Less tattooed on my wrist so I would constantly be reminded to be positive and not care what other’s think. She was not a fan so I decided to order a bracelet from Etsy with the words ‘Sans Peur’ engraved on it. It means without fear in French.
It’s small, it’s subtle and I’ll see it every time I look down. Or if I’m at work, I’ll see it for 8 hours straight while I’m at my computer.
Find something that works for you. My mom writes Bible verses and quotes that remind her to think true, positive things instead of worrying, and puts them where she spends a lot of time doing housework and on all the mirrors. I’m going with a bracelet, but I’ll let you know how I like that after awhile and if it will actually helps me.
# 2 – Conquer My Fears
This freaks me out to write this, because then it’s in writing and I’ll have to follow through with this. I’m writing out a Fear Less List. I’ll share it in another post before this post becomes another novel. I’m writing down everything. Little things that will make me uncomfortable, things I think I’ll eventually do, but the only thing that’s holding me back is fear, and things that make me want to puke because I couldn’t stand for someone to think negatively towards me.
Write it down. I’m keeping a running list in my notes. Slowly day by day, I’ll cross things off my list. The more I do that scares me, the braver I realize I am and the braver I’ll become. It’s magical. Sean from the Growth List wrote about this as well. I’m taking his word for it. ( http://www.thegrowthlist.com/how-to-not-give-a-fuck-what-people-think/ )
#3 – Start Accomplishing Things
I know this is talked about over and over, but I don’t think this can be enforced enough. I want to spend less time binging on Netflix or pinning to my heart’s discontent on Pinterest and instead get a hobby. Read books again, start dabbling in hobbies that used to interest me, even if I’m not good at it.
I’m making it a goal to finish books again. I have a list of “Good” books and a list of “Entertainment” books. I’m reading one from each list at a time. I get up 20 minutes earlier in the mornings and read a chapter or two pages from my good book in the morning and write down everything that strikes me in a notebook.
In the evenings, I’m switching movies to “Entertaining” books. I’m limiting my Pinterest to useful searches instead of mindless pinning. Last night I started drawing again and I’m leaving my pencils out so I can doodle around more often. I’ve begun writing again. Even if it’s in scattered fragments on Notes on my iPhone, text messages to myself, TextEdits docs on my laptop.
I feel better about myself when I’m actively producing things instead of wasting my time away.
#4 – Look Outward
Stop focusing on myself. I’m all about self-love, and self-care. In fact I’m really good at it, super good at it. Some might even say, too good at it. But it’s a great thing— in moderation. The more time I spend by myself, watching my shows, reading my books, in my bed, in my room, during my alone time, the more restless and discontent and stressful I become. In the end I’m that much more negative.
It’s incredibly difficult for me. I’m not naturally a giver, or have a servant’s heart. I figure it’s like exercising. It’s hard because I have no muscle, I’m out of shape. I’m doing it because it’s good for me, not because it’s enjoyable. So I keep pushing on, ‘running’ a little bit more each day. I wrote down a long list of ways I can serve my family on my off days. Even on the days I work all day, I’m trying to accomplish little tasks in the evening and morning that make my Mom’s life easier.
#5 – Heal My Body
I’ll feel less stressed, the better I physically feel. Mental and physical. The two play on each other. I’ve been actively working on healing myself physically. So while I’m really shifting my focus to the mental side of it, I don’t plan on dropping the physical side of it.
Continue to cut out the processed sugars, white flours, junk, artificial fake foods. It’s gross, I feel gross and bloated when I eat it. Nothing good comes out of it. Take my probiotics and continue healing my gut. Stress and gut health go hand in hand. Load up on the Vitamin B and D3. Even in the Summer these are important, but 10x more so in the Winter. Research supplements to replenish my adrenals. Every time I have a panic attack or get anxious, my adrenals get drained. I need to replenish those.
Sleep. I make a deal with myself. No social events, no TV, no hobbies, past 9pm for a week. Go to bed at 9:30. For one week. It’s made such a difference. I’m cutting out the rigorous workouts. I’m sticking to yoga, light weights and jogging. No HIIT for me right now, no intense workouts. My body is just surviving, it’s not thriving so, intense workouts won’t do me any good. I’m giving myself time to heal. I’ve done a ton of damage to it by stressing out.
I’ve been doing some of these things off and on for awhile, but since the beginning of December I’m actively putting effort into these things. I’m done with my bubble of fear. I’m ready to live Fearless.